Jessica Simpson loves the Detroit Lions, Paris Hilton is upset!

by James on June 14th, 2007

NFL Football at its best. NFL Football at its craziest.

Oh no, Jessica signed with the Vikings!

Ok, time for a confession. Jessica Simpson probably does not even know what sport the Detroit Lions play.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of times that most of us don’t know what sport the Lions are playing.

Bear with me. It was a slow news day. So let’s discover what would make Jessica love the Lions.

As for Paris, well, who really cares!

Magic Johnson

If Jessica was Magic Johnson and grew up in Lansing, Michigan, she would love the Lions.

Born on August 14, 1959, Earvin Johnson Jr. grew up in Lansing, Mich., with nine brothers and sisters. His father worked in a General Motors plant; his mother was a school custodian. Young Earvin passed the time by singing on street corners with his buddies and, of course, by playing basketball. “Junior,” or “June Bug” as his neighbors called him, was on the court by 7:30 many mornings.

“I practiced all day,” Johnson told USA Weekend. “I dribbled to the store with my right hand and back with my left. Then I slept with my basketball.” source

Can you imagine, Magic won the Michigan State High School Championship as a senior, the NCAA Championship for Michigan State University as a sophomore, and the NBA Championship as a rookie filling in for Kareem in the 7th game.

Jessica, on the other hand, can barely dribble, but looks good in a tank top and basketball shorts!

Kirk Gibson

If Jessica was Kirk Gibson and grew up in Michigan, she would love the Lions.

Kirk was an awesome wide receiver for Michigan State University and could have easily played NFL Football.

He will be remembered most for the shot off the best reliever in baseball at the time, Dennis Eckersley, in game one of the 1988 World Series. Kirk limped up to the plate with a leg injury, (he was not even supposed to play) and was waiting on the backdoor slider.

Sure was! We had a scouting report from [advance scout] Mel Didier that said Dennis Eckersley likes to throw a 3-2 backdoor slider to left-handed hitters. If you watch the film, when he went into a set position I called time and stepped out. I said to myself what Mel Didier told me: “Partner, as sure as I’m standing here breathing, you get Eckersley 3-2 in a big situation and you’re going to see a backdoor slider.” So I kind of visualized that, stepped back in, and sure enough, there it was. source

Jessica has never hit a backdoor slider and … it is too tempting, let’s just move on. :)

Tom and Kid Rock

And what if Jessica changed her name to Tommy Simpson? She would surely love the Detroit Lions. Tom Selleck, Tom Skerritt, Danny Thomas, Marlo Thomas, and Lily Tomlin all hail from the Detroit area. Jessica would have to love the Lions then.

Kid Rock loves the Lions and Alice Cooper, well, he left for Arizona or something, we are not sure anymore.

John Smoltz

A star pitcher for the Atlanta Braves, John Smoltz was born in Michigan and went to High School just down the road from your intrepid author at Waverly High School in Lansing, loves the Lions.

Time Out for John Smoltz factoid Did you know that John Smoltz wanted to play hoops for the Michigan State Spartans?

John Smoltz was an All-State baseball and basketball player at Waverly High School in Lansing, Michigan before the Detroit Tigers drafted him in the 22nd round of the 1985 amateur draft. He was the 574th selection of the draft. He would have been drafted higher, but concerns that he would attend Michigan State University, to play basketball, dissuaded many teams from drafting him. source

Just think, Matt Millen wasted draft picks on Charles Rodgers and Mike Williams, when he could have drafted Jessica Simpson.

Hey, for a 10 Million Dollar Bonus, Jessica may have showed up for rookie camp.

Now why is Paris so upset? Well, who really cares?

NFL Football Fan Question Are you in love with the Lions or Jessica Simpson?

As always, any NFL Football related comments are welcome.

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